MAKING HEADWAYBY RICH FARRELLY Â
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 Welcome to issue #18 of Making Headway, a monthly letter to you, with a focus on doing your best leadership work and hopefully, making some tweaks to your life. I love that you are here. If this was forwarded to you, subscribe here.
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Hello Hooligans, Â Oops, I missed my April letter to you. The month felt more like a Red Bull stunt plane than a smooth cruising altitude. It was hectic, and I only managed to level out a week or so ago. Â Where was I? Well, my coffee bean delivery job took a bit more
out of me than Iâd anticipated. Then there was a pile of work staring me down like a villain in a Clint Eastwood Western.  In other news, a good friend of mine has decided to take a sharp leftâor possibly a rightâwith his career. He realised he no longer wanted to do digital marketing during a job interview for a digital marketing job.  Talk about a
crossroads. Wake-up calls come at the oddest times. Â He has now decided to move into the high-pressure world of, well, high-pressure washing. Some may say there is a strong link between the two. Iâm incredibly excited for him; itâs a big leap into the world of running your own business. Being willing to make mistakes and get back in the ring for another swing is a true test of character. Â But we also have to celebrate the wins. Â Not like a drunken sailor out on the town, but with a quiet fist-bump to yourself when you land a new client, or when someone rebooks you because you did great work and didnât accidentally blast their garden furniture into the next suburb. Â Starting something new takes
optimismânot the glossy, motivational-poster kind, but the quiet kind that says, âI donât know exactly how this will go, but Iâm willing to make a move.â I remember thinking when I first started my business, "This is mine to stuff up." Itâs a slightly different mindset, but you get the drift. Â And sometimes, when you make a move, the world gives you a little nudge back.
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Photo Credit: The
Guardian  When $2 Buys More Than a RideI was reminded of that while reading a story from The Guardianâs âKindness of Strangersâ series.  A woman wrote about being utterly exhausted while wrangling two children under three. She had just moved from the Kimberley region of Australia to Tasmaniaâno sleep, no support
network, and trying to furnish a house from op-shops. She was the kind of tired where you accidentally drive the car into your own fence. Â One day, outside the supermarket, she let her kids sit on one of those little mechanical rides near the entrance. She didnât put any money in. When you have small kids and a tight budget, paying for a wobbling plastic helicopter isn't exactly a priority. Â Then an older man walked past, dropped $2 into the slot, looked at her, and said, âHave a nice day.â Â That was it. Â No grand gesture. No life-changing intervention. Just two dollars, a few kind words, and a tiny pocket of relief. Her children are teenagers now, and she still thinks about it. Â I love that. Because sometimes, what changes the day isn't a massive breakthrough. It is a small move: - A stranger putting $2 into a ride.
- A repeat client booking you again.
- A quiet fist bump when something finally works.
- A moment where someone notices what is needed and does one useful thing.
And maybe that is why
this next thing caught my eye.
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 The Game You Didnât Realise You Were InItâs a board game called No Worries If Notâaptly described as âthe game you never wanted to play.â  It is a satirical take on people-pleasing, overthinking, multitasking, and the constant, exhausting apology of trying to make sure everyone is happy and no one is mad. Players move through places like Self-Doubt Spiral and Judgment Junction, all in pursuit of the glorious destination: Everyoneâs Happy and No Oneâs Mad Land.  It is funny because
it is absurd. It lands because it is recognisable. But the hoest truth is, if you want to please everyone, sell ice-cream. Â Most of us know what it feels like to play some version of a game we didn't design. The rules are unclear. The goalposts shift. You are trying to keep people happy, keep momentum, keep perspective, and keep yourself intactâall while somehow trying to make a useful move.
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So, how does all this tie together?On the surface, a career-changing pressure washer, a $2 coin, and a board game about people-pleasing donât have much in common. But they all landed on my desk while I was reading about a concept called "Outer Focus." Â Itâs part of the Roche Martin emotional intelligence framework, but stripped of the corporate-speak, itâs basically just the art of making a useful move in a world you donât fully control. Â Itâs built on three ideas that usually sound a bit like a motivational poster, but look different in the wild: Â Self-actualisation: This isnât about finding your "calling" while a soundtrack plays in the background. Itâs my friend realising digital marketing felt wrong and choosing a path that felt more like him, even if it means getting wet and starting over. Itâs moving toward whatâs real for you, even when itâs messy. Â Optimism: This isn't
pretending everything is fine. Itâs the $2 coin. Itâs the quiet belief that despite the chaos, there is still something decent you can contribute. Itâs asking, âWhat is possible from here?â instead of just "Why is this happening?" Â Adaptability: This is the "No Worries If Not" move. Itâs reading the board, noticing the goalposts have shifted (again), and choosing your next move without losing your soul to the
"Self-Doubt Spiral." Â I like these three because they aren't about pretending life is simple or fair. Theyâre about staying purposeful when it isnât. Â Thatâs the thread I keep coming back to: the useful move. Â A stranger helping a tired mum. A friend choosing work that fits. A person trapped in
a people-pleasing loop deciding they don't have to play by those rules anymore. Â Maybe thatâs all we really need. Not a laminated, color-coded five-year planâjust the ability to stay awake to the world and choose the next move with a little more grit and a lot less overthinking. Â That feels like a game worth getting better at.
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Refining Your Approach: Three Actions for the week aheadIf youâre feeling a bit like youâre playing a game you didn't design, try these "useful moves" this week: Â 1) Drop a $2 coin (Optimism) You donât need to save the world to change someoneâs afternoon. Try
this: Find one person in your orbit who looks a little "Kimberley to Tasmania" tired. Don't offer a grand intervention; just do one tiny, useful thing. Send a "no-reply-needed" text, handle a small task theyâre dreading, or buy the coffee. You don't need to become 'besties' with the person, aim to give them a little bit of relief, or the "one-percenters" as I often call them  2) Check your "Pressure" levels
(Self-actualisation) Itâs easy to get stuck doing work that feels like a villain in a Westernâmenacing and soul-crushing. Action: Pick one project on your plate and ask: "Am I doing this because itâs mine to do, or because Iâm afraid of leaving Everyoneâs Happy and No Oneâs Mad Land?" If itâs the latter, see if you can take a "sharp left" toward a version of the task that actually feels like you. Â 3) Edit the "No Worries" (Adaptability) We often lose our momentum by over-apologising for existing. Try this: The next time youâre about to type "No worries if not!" or "Just checking in!"âstop. Delete the fluff. Send the request or the update straight. Itâs a small way to stop playing a game of people-pleasing and start making a useful move. Read the board, state your piece, and see how the world nudges back. It's kind to others, but most of all, it's kind to
yourself.
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Need help tuning out the noise to tune into your people?Send me a message or hit reply, and letâs start with finding your benchmark.
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Guest PostOur regular good friend of this letter, Paul Edwards, has had a lot on his plate latelyâincluding buying and selling a houseâso heâll be back with us soon.
Expecting more?There is so much more to write on each letter I send, but I appreciate limited attention spans and other commitments. I know you would like more, so get in touch and I am happy to chat.Â
I like to think we are all little cheer squads for each other in this world and our default position is that we all want each other to succeed in business and in life, so feedback and ideas are always welcome. I know it is coming from a good place. I am even open to a âletter to the editorâ, if you are inspired to write.
Thanks for reading this far. Write back and let me know what breakthrough you have had after reading this letter. What thoughts you had. Just a sentence (or longer, if you like).  Write to you next month. Rich
P.S. If you like this newsletter and want to support it, there are a few ways you can do this! PICK ONE, right now before you forget. Â Because whether itâs this newsletter, a keynote, or a workshop, my whole thing is helping leaders tackle complex challenges in practical, human ways....and maybe even building the answer out of
LEGO. Â - Forward this to a friend or colleague and invite them to subscribe: www.headtohead.net.au/newsletter
- Hit reply - seriously, I read every message.
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move beyond the status quo.
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