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MAKING HEADWAY

BY RICH FARRELLY

All the Fazzs (dad gets called Kev, or dad) - read on it will make sense

Photo Credit: One of my sisters-in-law

Welcome to issue #8 of Making Headway, a monthly letter to you, with a focus on doing your best leadership work and hopefully, making some tweaks to your life. I love that you are here. If this was forwarded to you, subscribe here.

Sunday, June 1st, 2025

Hello gorgeous,

I was once told a story about a woman who trained her parrot to say 'Hello, Gorgeous' to her each time she walked in the room. Apparently it was incredibly affirming and gave her the lift she needed each day. I hope she has achieved wonderous things.

***

Australians love to use nicknames for people. Barry can be 'Bazza', Marilynn turns into 'Mazz', Robert becomes Robbo, and so on. My surname is Farrelly, so, often my six brothers and I will be called 'Fazza'. 

A few years ago, my brothers and I were all together for a function. We were chatting to different people at various points in the room and someone called out to one of the boys 'Hey, Fazza'. We all turned around.

Anyway, when Margot Robbie comes home to Australia, I imagine she gets called 'Marg' or 'Robbo' by her friends. I have no research to back this up, I just like the idea, because my mum's name was Margaret and she got called Marg. I don't imagine Nicole Kidman getting 'Nikster' of 'Kiddo'. That probably wouldn't land well.

A while ago, I was speaking to a friend of mine from Scotland about nicknames. I asked him whether people in Scotland with first or last names like McDonald, MacKenzie, McCoy, Mcleod etc, got called 'Macca'. They don't. 'Macca' is apparently unique to Australia.

Another term unique to Australia is, "They wouldn't work in an iron lung." This means someone is so lazy they couldn't even breathe for themselves. You don't hear it so much these days, but like the word 'swell' from my last letter, I think I will try and bring it back.

There is nothing more in this opening bit other than my reflection on nicknames (and slang). Having said that, the last bit about the iron lung might actually be the link.

Correction

A bit of a correction for something in my last letter to you. It turns out that I was being a bit broad when I said Prof. David Macmillan won the Nobel Prize for Science in 2021. Thanks to my good friend, Paul Edwards (he is dynamite*), for pointing out that there is no Nobel Prize category for science more broadly. There is one for Chemistry and that's the one Macmillan (his friends don't call him Macca) got the gong in. 

The mistake was made by my ignorance.

(Paul makes another appearance later in this letter. He is a kind and generous man)

(*If you didn't get the dynamite reference, read this.)

* * *

Feedback

On the topic of feedback - whoa!! My last letter got a lot of it. Turns out it really struck a chord (or maybe a few slightly uncomfortable nerves). For a quick refresher, it was all about bad PR departments - when perfectly good leadership or life concepts get a dodgy reputation thanks to one-sided marketing. 

I also touched on the Nobel Prize effect (which is not a real term) - finding the extraordinary hiding in the ordinary, and the canary in the coal mine reminder: pay attention when something in the culture starts quietly flapping its wings and whoever is raising it is not getting oxygen, but they are getting out.

So, feedback is what I'd love to dig in to.

Grab a shovel and let's get to it..

👇

* * *

When I was a police officer, I rarely received feedback from my managers. Sure, I got plenty of feedback from suspects - and sometimes even the general public (I loved being told how to do my job). But formal feedback? Almost never.

One day I asked a colleague why, and he smiled and said,

“Well, you must be doing a good job - no one’s told you you’re doing a bad one.”

At the time, I accepted that answer. But looking back, I realise how much I was missing.

No one telling you you’re doing badly is not the same as someone helping you get better.

And here’s the bigger truth: most of us walk around wanting more feedback but getting far less than we need - especially the kind that really helps us grow.

Research shows that while 87% of people want more feedback, especially the hard stuff, only about a third actually get it. Why? Because both givers and receivers focus on the discomfort of the moment. We get tangled in the sweaty-palmed, heart-pounding awkwardness, and we forget: feedback isn’t just about pointing out mistakes - it’s about unlocking potential.

Five Practical Ways to Make Feedback Part of Your Everyday Rhythm

Here’s your snack-size guide to making feedback a little less of a 'Yikes' moment and a lot more “A-ha!” moment - whether you’re on the giving or receiving end.

1️⃣ Reframe It as a Prototype, Not a Verdict
Think of feedback like a first draft, not a final judgment. Say, “Here’s something I noticed - what if we tried…” instead of “You’re doing it wrong.”

This invites collaboration, not defensiveness. You’re not handing down a verdict; you’re offering a hypothesis to explore together.

2️⃣ Go Micro, Not Mega (and Make It Part of the Rhythm)
Big annual feedback dumps? Stressful. Small, regular feedback moments? Way easier.

Feedback is like watering a plant - it’s the small, regular sips of nourishment that help things grow. You can’t dump a bucket on it once a year and expect it to thrive.

And here’s the magic: when you make feedback part of your everyday operating rhythm, it stops feeling awkward or high-stakes. It becomes part of how your team works, learns, and grows together - a natural part of the culture, not a scary one-off.

3️⃣ Listen for Hidden Gold in the Clumsy Feedback
Here’s the thing: most feedback doesn’t arrive as a perfectly wrapped gift. It often shows up as a lumpy, wrinkled package, sometimes with the tape stuck where it shouldn’t be.

That awkward comment in a meeting? The vague suggestion in a 1:1?

There’s often still something useful inside, even if the delivery is clumsy. Don’t dismiss it just because it’s rough around the edges - pan for the gold inside. Ask yourself:
→ What’s the useful 10% here?
→ What’s underneath their awkward delivery that might help me grow?

 4️⃣ Make It Safe to Speak Up
People need to know it’s okay to tell you the truth. Try asking:
→ “What’s one thing you think I could improve?”
→ “What am I missing here?”

The magic? You’re inviting help, not criticism - and that shifts the energy entirely.

5️⃣ Embrace the Discomfort
The goal isn’t to make feedback painless - it’s to practice showing up anyway.

Think of it like learning to ride a bike: the wobbles, the scraped knees, the awkwardness - they’re all part of building the muscle. If you’re not a little uncomfortable, you’re probably not stretching yourself.

One Powerful Takeaway

Discomfort isn’t a sign to stop - it’s a sign that you’re doing the work that matters.

Every feedback conversation is a mini-experiment, a prototype for progress. You don’t need to be perfect; you just need to be willing.

Your Action Challenge This Month

Before the week’s out, do ONE of these:
✅ Ask someone for a specific piece of feedback.
✅ Give someone a small, thoughtful piece of feedback.
✅ Spot a hidden or clumsily delivered feedback cue - and gently surface it.

Let me know how it goes - I’d love to hear your stories (and yes, your feedback).

Guest Post

If you want to be part of this letter and not just an observer, give the guest spot a try. Paul did, and who knows where it will take him.

As always....

And without labouring the feedback topic too much, I like to think we are all little cheer squads for each other in this world and our default position is that we all want each other to succeed in business and in life, so feedback and ideas are always welcome. I know it is coming from a good place. I am even open to a ‘letter to the editor’, if you are inspired to write.

In other unrelated news, watch the gameshow Tipping Point on June 16th (5pm AEST on channel 9) and you will see me in action. It promises to be thrilling TV.

Thanks for reading this far.

Write to you next month.

Rich

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